by Angela Perez

I am a few days shy of going one month without alcohol. And in these last four weeks, when I’m out at restaurants or parties, I cannot help but focus on what and how much other people drink. And the focus is for one reason in particular: to gauge how hungover they will be tomorrow. I’m like a cultural anthropologist specializing in gauging hangover levels. After seeing one middle-aged fella down four shots of low-end tequila and then continue on with several pints of beer, I mused, “Oh, you poor bastard. At your age, that will be a three-day hangover complete with ordering pizza through Doordash and binge watching Netflix.” And, while pizza and Netflix are a lovely combo, that hangover ruins it all.
So, has becoming a teetotaler made me smugly sympathetic?

Not at all. (Though, yes, I do have sympathy for anyone wallowing in the throes of a pounding headache, looking up your Uber account to figure out how and when you got home last night.)
My attention to others’ inebriation is due to this: In these first few heady weeks of freedom from feeling oh-so-bad due to alcohol, I am lasered in on the fact that I no longer have to fear hangovers after an evening out. And perversely, watching folks imbibe is a joyful reminder that I don’t have to fear whatever consequences may come from over-indulging. Some consequences are worse than others – from a mild headache, to losing a credit card or mobile phone, to hooking up with someone you would NEVER have hooked up with sober, to even worse things. What I am about to say does not hold true for everyone but some of you need to hear this: It is okay to admit to yourself that middle age and alcohol simply do not mix. For me, going through the change of life, the suffering the next day after a night out of drinking overwhelms and destroys any memory of the brief joy of last night’s cocktail (and I do LOVE the flavor of gin!).

I am also, as a sober person, VERY focused on which bars and restaurants offer well-crafted no- and low-alcohol drinks. I will no longer frequent places that only offer me soda water with lime or some sort of lame one-note juice concoction – those places no longer serve my needs. I want the glamor, the titillating flavors, and the complexity that comes from a bar stocked with cordials, shrubs, syrups, teas, flavored molasses, pastes, honeys, fruits, and aquafaba (to name a few ingredients).

Here’s the thing, whether you are just taking a break during Dry January to detox, you’re sober curious and want to cut back, or you are just done with alcohol altogether, I’m here to explore mindful mixology with you – exploring sophisticated no- and low-alcohol cocktails that will still thrill, surprise, delight, and intoxicate you (in non-drunk ways). I will be sharing recipes I find and make, details of the brands I like and don’t like, bars and restaurants mixing up glorious drinks, and so on. And, also, what being alcohol-free feels like over time (hopefully weeks, to months, to years).